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Build scripts for difficult feedback conversations. Get specific language for performance issues, behavior problems, or development feedback that maintains relationships while being direct.

James Park
Exclusif Coach IA

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Disponible avec Ask Mojo Pro

Purpose

Transform your anxiety about difficult conversations into confidence with specific scripts. This skill helps you structure feedback that is direct, actionable, and relationship-preserving. You will walk away with exact language you can use in your next conversation.

When to Use

Use this Skill when you need to:

  • Address underperformance before it becomes a bigger problem
  • Give negative feedback without damaging the relationship
  • Correct behavior issues (lateness, attitude, missed deadlines)
  • Deliver development feedback that actually helps someone grow
  • Have a conversation you have been avoiding

Step-by-Step Process

Step 1: Clarify the Situation

Help me understand the specific feedback situation.

Ask these questions:

  • "What specific behavior or performance issue needs to be addressed?"
  • "Can you give me a concrete example with dates or specifics?"
  • "What is the impact of this behavior on the team, project, or company?"
  • "What outcome do you want from this conversation?"

Listen for: vague complaints vs specific observations, emotional charge, relationship context.

Output Variable: situation_context

Step 2: Choose the Feedback Framework

Based on the situation, select the right approach.

SBI Framework (Situation-Behavior-Impact): Best for: Specific behavioral feedback, first-time issues

  • Situation: When and where it happened
  • Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations)
  • Impact: The effect on team/project/outcomes

Feedforward Approach: Best for: Development feedback, coaching conversations

  • Focus on future behavior, not past mistakes
  • "Next time, try..." rather than "You should not have..."

Direct Conversation: Best for: Serious issues, repeated problems, performance concerns

  • Clear statement of the issue
  • Specific expectations going forward
  • Consequences if not addressed

Output Variable: framework_choice

Step 3: Build the Opening

The first 30 seconds sets the tone. Create an opening that:

  • Is direct but not attacking
  • Signals this is important
  • Does not trigger defensiveness

Help craft language like:

  • "I want to talk about something I have observed that I think is important for your growth..."
  • "I need to share some feedback about [specific area]. This is meant to help, not criticize..."
  • "There is something I have noticed that I think we should address directly..."

Output Variable: conversation_opening

Step 4: Script the Core Message

Build the main feedback using the chosen framework.

For SBI: "In [meeting/situation] on [date], when you [specific behavior], it [impact on team/project]."

Include:

  • One specific example (not a list of complaints)
  • Observable behavior (not character judgments)
  • Concrete impact (not "it made me feel...")

Output Variable: core_message

Step 5: Plan the Forward Path

Feedback without next steps is just criticism. Define:

  • What does good look like? (specific, measurable)
  • What support will you provide?
  • When will you check in?
  • What are the consequences if unchanged?

Output Variable: forward_path

Step 6: Anticipate Reactions

Prepare for common responses:

  • Defensiveness: "I hear that you see it differently. Can you help me understand your perspective?"
  • Deflection: "I want to focus on this specific situation right now."
  • Emotional reaction: "I can see this is hard to hear. Take a moment if you need it."
  • Excuses: "I understand there may be context I am missing. That said, the impact was..."

Output Variable: reaction_responses

Step 7: Generate Conversation Script

Create the complete feedback document.

Create a document titled "Feedback Conversation: [Topic]" with:

Opening (30 seconds): [conversation_opening]

Core Feedback: [core_message using chosen framework]

Forward Path: [forward_path with specifics]

If They React With [X], Say: [reaction_responses]

Follow-up Plan:

  • Check-in date: [date]
  • Success metric: [what good looks like]

Output Format

Feedback Conversation Script: [Topic]

OPENING:
"[Direct but warm opening line]"

CORE FEEDBACK (SBI):
"In [situation] on [date], when you [behavior], it [impact]."

THE ASK:
"Going forward, I need [specific behavior change]."

SUPPORT OFFERED:
"Here is how I will help: [specific support]"

CHECK-IN:
"Let us reconnect on [date] to see how it is going."

IF DEFENSIVE:
"[Prepared response]"

IF EMOTIONAL:
"[Prepared response]"

Tools

  • basile_create_document - Save the conversation script to your space

Example

Input: Team member consistently misses sprint commitments, affecting team velocity

Output:

OPENING:
"Hey [Name], I want to talk about something I have noticed in the last few sprints. This is meant to help us get on the same page, not criticize."

CORE FEEDBACK:
"In the last three sprints, you committed to [X] story points but delivered [Y]. In Sprint 14 specifically, the auth feature slipped, which meant QA had nothing to test on Thursday and Friday."

THE ASK:
"Going forward, I need commitments you are confident you can hit. I would rather you commit to less and deliver than overcommit."

SUPPORT:
"Let us look at your estimates together before sprint planning. I will also make sure you are not getting pulled into unplanned work."

CHECK-IN:
"Let us see how Sprint 16 goes and reconnect after the retro."
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